No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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