I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
