His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
