it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
