Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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