Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
