Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i think i have herpe
just one?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
