It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I believe in your delicious
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
