My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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