She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
