The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
