I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
