why didn't you poke me back
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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