I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
