If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
