So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
