Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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