woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How external is "for external use only"?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
