pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize