Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
