He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
