Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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