He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
