Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
