It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
