three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
