I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
