I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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