I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
