I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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