We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
