ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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