in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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