I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
