Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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