omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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