someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
