You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
