and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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