Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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