Please don't use social media to get back at me.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
