i just had sex bonerless
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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