i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
