ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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