You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
