the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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