doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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