Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
