16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
