I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
