Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
