i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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