she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
