someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
